Prolonged Adolescence in Both Sexes Leads to Gender War
Semi-arranged marriages with chaperoned courtship protected the woman in past times, if perhaps over restrictively by modern standards. But later, courting in the small community also protected the woman via the nosey neighbor, somewhat. But as communities grew into cities and as transportation and communication technology increased, protection waned, and morality was called on to fill in the gap. The burden was especially on the woman to be morally pure. The burden on the man was to extend this empire of commercial markets. The masses were swept along in a drive towards long distance commerce and communication, technology, and larger structure in general- big business, organized labor, government bureaucracy, the proliferation of universities, and the proliferation of home computers, home entertainment, and 'home' business, ironically still 'big structure' and un-community somehow. If your wanted to compete, you had to get an education.
The extension of adolescence and courtship through higher education created too long a period of tension; too prolonged a drama of going steady, then breaking up, and then finally capitulating to simply getting what you can when you can, sexually and economically. Morality finally collapsed in successive degrees by decades. The 60's 'hippie mama' was communal- she mercifully soothed anyone in the 'movement' or in the group. The 70's 'party' girl preferred the sexually experienced 'bad boy'. The 80's 'material girl' was only easy with the upwardly mobile. The 90's 'relationship' girl found herself abused or only half-heartedly loved. The current 'gurrl power' girl has empowered herself, but is afraid of commitment.
It had been important for the Victorian high class woman to be cultured, to be able to do cultured things, like perform musically at parties, or impress a man with her intellect. Thus she could draw monied men to court her. The growing problem throughout this last century was that more and more people were trying to fit in to that high society. They were watching Fred Astaire movies; they were moving to the glamorous big city; they were going to college more and more, so that higher degrees meant less and less; they were full of ambition that they hoped was everyone's right to aspire to. Well, something was wrong. The diversity and complexity of our long distance big structure commerce covered up the fact that a ceiling was being reached and that it was time to form new communities with fewer sophisticated 'choices'. Many had left the small towns to find success in the city. Of course, industrialization and technological growth contributed to this urban growth, but some of it was "hype". Opportunities within the larger structure of diverse commerce and high specialization were intoxicating, covering up the monkishness or impracticality many of these pursuits, causing many to gamble with idle dreams, and many to suffer the capriciousness of fortune.
People were not always pursuing goals soberly with a view to the natural limitations of this life. Rather than getting wisdom and financial help from their parents via small business community, they were sent off to college where they pursued the higher jobs in the big business community. Writers of "how to" books found a plentiful market. Success manuals abounded. While there were many good things taught in colleges and in self improvement books, the typical fallacy was the idea that everyone could find opportunity and "make a name for themselves" in the congested populated areas. An insincere encouragement of ambition flowed forth in this exploitative "high culture pyramid scheme". Image and personal charm seemed to be more important than internal character and strength. To upscale educated culture, "selling" seemed to have more status than "producing". Big business was better than small. Long distance commerce was better than local. The demands of corporate culture were more important than those of raising a family and developing a strong community.
Some traditional cultures have an "extended adolescence" for the young man to establish his career before he is considered ready to marry. Thus his family has restrained him from marriage while investing in him. Then the girl's father invests financially as well, providing for the dowry. The West had some of this too, but gradually, the strain of the industrial age broke this down. It was never easy for the poor, but it began to get harder for the middle class as well, after an illusory period of growth (government debt?). Both women and men were sent out into the job world ahead of marriage. The strain of trying to develop relationships and get ahead for many whose economic situation was full of prolonged uncertainty focused attention on "a war between the sexes". Those who benefited from the "gender war" would seem to be the forces that marketed corporate products and the culture that went with them. These benefited from the competition and lack of cooperation and sober mindedness of many individuals. Were men feeling unaffirmed by women? Just turn on TV and watch Mr. Actor act out your manhood! Watch Miss Actress affirm your honor and virility! Also, buy something owned by Macho Mutual- Charisma Car, Killer Cologne, or any number of masculinity-enhancing products advertised on the commercials! Were women marrying later in life, after competing in the job market through years at college and at full time careers? Just use Cover Girl or Clairol! You can look just like an eighteen year old! Did things not turn out in your marriage as you hoped? Watch another movie- bet you'll find them addictive! Buy a more expensive home in a prime location- bet you'll be able to sell yours at a profit, and so will the guy selling to you! Want to get rich quick? Sell, don't make! Invest in anything to do with youthful folly, anything that discourages sound intergenerational planning, anything that is big and discourages community empowerment, anything that creates low wage dead end jobs, and promotes more and more 'choices', and distracting 'freedom' via the big structures and big communications, with all their promises. Invest in any kind of pyramid scheme that preys on the tendency of many to abhor hard work, especially manual labor. The freedom of choices was exhilarating, but much of youth was dissipated. People were basically investing in the large structures rather than in the small structures. Some worked hard, made out well, and praised the 'system'. Others were disappointed and left with more menial tasks and boring jobs, though they entertained themselves well and flattered themselves with educated avocations. Meanwhile, the manual work was being farmed-out to the Mexicans and the Guatemalans. They stuck together. They saved. They invested in their children and repaid their parents. Their young wives watched the children with the grandparents at the Laundromat. They were together; they were a culture; they were a community within the big structure.
