Marrying Minors: Are They Making A Mistake?
By Elizabeth Alvarado
She married him out of spite.
Her parents said he was no good. So Maria wanted to prove them wrong.
"I kind of knew my mom didn’t want me to get married," recalls Maria, 18, who asked that her real name not be used. "My dad told the judge, ‘If she wants to get married, let her get married." and the judge simply said, ‘fine.’ "
And so, at 15, Maria married her boyfriend of eight months, Juan, who was 19 at the time.
"My marriage was one big mistake," says Maria, who is now separated from her husband. "He started getting pushy. One day he hit me, and after stitches and everything, I wish I could say I got out, but no. I stayed. I lost most of my teenage years."
Fewer teens are getting married today than 30 or 40 years ago. But, some teens are still opting to walk down the aisle before they graduate from high school.
In 1990, the latest year for which statistics are available, 10 out of 1,000 teenagers, ages 15 to 17, got married, compared to almost 37 out of 1,000 in 1970. The average age of marriage in the U.S. is now the mid-20s.
Marrying Young
Not all teen marriages end up as badly as Maria’s, but studies say the younger you marry, the better the chances you’ll get divorced.
About 80 percent of 14-year-olds who married got divorced, compared to about 45 percent of 20-year-olds and 30 percent of 23-year-olds, according to a study conducted at Brigham Young University.
"Marrying at a young age is the single most important factor identified as a cause of divorce," says David Popenoe, a sociology professor at Rutgers University.
Popenoe says teens still have a lot of growing up to do, so the partner who seems great now could look different later. Plus, teens don’t understand the difficult demands of married life — the constant sacrifices, compromises and hard work it takes to live with someone, day in and day out.
"Young people don’t know how to pick a mate," says Popenoe, who also heads the National Marriage Project. "They aren’t ready for marriage."
But Melissa Ortega, 18, believes she made the right decision when she married Ruben Ortega, 19, out of love.
"We were best friends," says Melissa, who married when she was 17. "When he asked me to marry him, I was so psyched. I had no doubts whatsoever. I love him. Nothing was backing me away from him."
Waiting for the Wedding
Most teens, though, dream about walking down the aisle — much later.
"Personally, I love the idea of getting married," says Tabitha Garcia, 17. "But I don’t want it right now."
Most teens who tie the knot do so because of pregnancy. But, today, even pregnancy isn’t pushing many teens to marry.
In the early 70s, about half of single teens who got pregnant got married, says Maggie Gallagher, director of the Marriage Project at the Institute for American Values in New York City.
"That has dropped to 16 percent," she says.
Gallagher thinks this is a bad trend, especially for older teen parents — 18 and 19 — who might have a better chance at a decent life if they got married. She also points out that many parenting teens say they aren’t ready to be married. But they’re raising a child.
"We have a much stronger message against teen marriage than we do against teen motherhood," says Gallagher.
Still, some teens are totally pessimistic about marriage, according to Popenoe’s National Marriage Project, which researched teen attitudes toward marriage. Their parents are divorced and so they think divorce is almost certain.
"I never want to get married," says Stiliany Collado, 14, whose parents divorced before she was even born. "I think kids who get married early are making a big mistake and most of those marriages won’t work out. They don’t know about life."
